Jeffrey Zeldman is the avant-garde of web publishing:
Here we have the most democratic publishing medium ever invented, and what do people fill it with? The meaningless daily details of their lives.
What if every potentially great new medium had been filled with "content" like this? What if, instead of actually MAKING Citizen Kane, Orson Welles had simply published a Web diary?
[...]
Oct. 7
Mankewicz arranged a little party. The steaks were overdone. I complained to Joseph Cotten, and the little ham told me I eat too much. Can you imagine? I told Joseph he should spend more time worrying about his performance on the set and less time worrying about my performance at the table. For some reason, Mankewicz's wife thought that was hilarious. Laughed herself silly, while poor Joe, her husband, just scowled into his wine. I wonder if the Mankewiczes are truly happy. But then, what is happiness? Should work that question into Kane.
An entry on Glenda's blog floored me in how much it mirrored a lot of things I've been thinking & feeling lately. Read that, then come back here to read my response.
Wow. After running across you on the Brooklyn tribe, clicking on you basically cos I just thought (& still think;) you were lovely, I made it to your blog & read yr entry on becoming a nun ("oh jeez"). A lot of that I could have written myself, except for a few details (I'm not likely to be accepted in a convent without some fairly major surgery, for example, and I was raised Episcopal).
But yah, over the last couple of years I've had recurring serious fantasies about leaving the world & devoting myself in silence or isolation or whatever to seeking & simple service. & I've also (sometimes unconsciously) tended to use Christianity (or more accurately, the story & ideals of jesus h christ) as a basis for my own evolving invention of personal spirituality & prayer. On & on.
Unlike you, I've been mostly unable to immerse myself in any specific spiritual/religious community. Partly I guess because I'm still not quite comfortable with my own re-acceptance of the concept of God, after my long rejection of institutional religion as social control. So I'm still a little embarrassed or something to tell my friends I'm going to Church or whatever, because I still have all these judgments about it myself. I'm still not quite even comfortable with the word "God" yet, except all the other words I could use seem too dippy or vague: "the universe," "the first cause," etc.
I laughed out loud at the bit about the HelpDesk & your rapid response, and your teasing winks from God. ;)
Interesting about forgiveness & yr awareness of being hurtful, & that awareness being a catalyst to want to remove yourself from other people's lives. I obviously don't know you at all, but I suspect that you're also an exquisite presence in people's lives at times. You're obviously really smart & witty (& beautiful;), and seem to have lots of people who love you (70 friends on tribe). Do you think your hurtfulness really outweighs that, and merits withdrawing your loveliness as well from people?