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May 20, 2003

nnnm

11:59 PM

Sometimes warm, beautiful days are the most melancholy, like the loneliness among a crowd. Today this is my soundtrack (lo-fi version), even though I need to practice peppy Greek music.

Mixed in, though, is a good bit of anger. I’m really exasperated in my life right now. Both musically & romantically I’m feeling frustrated by people’s inconstancy, perhaps insincerity. The people & things I get excited about disappear instantly, as if by design. Perhaps I’m supposed to be introspective right now, but if so why am I so overwhelmed by mundane tasks & uninspiring projects?

Smoked a cigarette today. Well 2/3 of one, it was nasty.

Abby & Tomas get to go to Paris, I’m jealous. Maybe I’ll move to Australia.

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Some days are like that, PJ, even in Australia.

Of course, I’d argue you’ll have fewer terrible, horrible, no good very bad ones if you move to New York, instead. :)